10 Ways Your City Home May Begin to Feel Like the Suburbs

Moving to the city from the suburbs (or countryside) can seem like such a huge lifestyle change. You’re going from a much slower to a much faster pace of life. You’re used to seeing only a handful of people but now see a massive amount of people everyday.

It’s like the difference between being at a party with only 500 Twitter followers on Jane Doe’s feed to a party with 30 million followers on Kim Kardashian West’s feed.

Upon moving, you live the city life in all its glory, taking in the sights, the sounds, the energy and the vibe. You’re like a kid in the candy store because there’s so much to see and do. You take in everything and get everything out of your system. You visit all the museums, go to events, parties and do all the shopping. You get acclimated to the new locale and enjoy your new experiences.

But there comes a time when you burn out from over-stimulation. You start to feel sick like someone who’s eaten a jar of every type of candy from the FAO Scwartz candy store.

You decide to take a break. You slow yourself down. You focus on what you really need to get by. You get familiar with where everything is and what to expect and naturally you start to get into a routine. Everything becomes familiar and daily rituals become engrained habits that work like clockwork, which is a good thing.

On the one hand, the city is no longer this big Goliath you have to conquer but a place you can experience in small bites, one slice at a time. It becomes manageable. You become a part of it. Then you start to see similarities between your new home and your former locale.

On the other hand you get too comfortable, like there’s a plateau and you need to get out of your comfort zone again.

For better or worse, here are ten ways your city home may start to feel like the suburbs.

1. You notice the same chain stores you can find in many suburban areas. Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, Bath and Body Works, Victoria’s Secret, Nordstrom Rack, Chipotle, I’m looking at you! Is this NYC or Mall of America?

2. You end up going to the same places all the time. It’s that familiarity of comfort that’s similar to the slower paced area where you used to live. You end up taking the same route to get to your job. You go to the same grocery store, gym, yoga studio, dry cleaners, restaurants and bars where everybody knows your name. You even walk or run the same outdoor route and rarely deviate from it. In a stressful city, who needs one more thing to decide – choice paralysis anyone?

3. You see the same people on your daily routine. It’s your neighbor with the pug, the old lady with the steel walker with tennis balls on the bottom ends to make them glide better on the ground. The same commuters talking on their cell phones wearing backpacks with their company logos.

4. You run into people you know even when you’re not on your daily routine. For example, you’ll run into both acquaintances and people in your immediate circle alike at random places like the drug store, the animal shelter or even sitting across from you on the bus or subway. This moment of serendipity is a welcome surprise in a place that’s so big.

5. You still need a vacation to recharge your batteries. You still long to leave your city home for world travel or somewhere other than where you currently live just like when you lived in the suburbs. Just because you live in the city doesn’t mean you want to hang out there all the time. You need a different perspective and change of pace too, otherwise you’ll burn out.

6. You only visit points of interest when you have guests over. You think because you live in the city you will have the time and inclination to go to ALL the top attractions, including every museum and all the latest plays. That will NEVER happen. You will be lucky to watch a Broadway when your parents visit you from the Midwest or where ever. I mean, when you were living in the suburbs, did you ever go to the points of interest when you lived there? Probably not because it’s in your own back yard and you take it for granted that it’s there and you think you have all the time in the world to visit it not realizing that you actually need to make an effort to visit.

7. Establishments that seem exciting to tourists seem overfamiliar and boring to residents. You like things for what they provide when you need them. Out-of-towners may be excited to dine out in a fancy gourmet spots “in the city” whereas residents may see it as just another place to eat. They’re hungry and want good food and service. They also want to get away from their tiny apartments and perceive the chic restaurants as an extension of their home. Whereas a visiting tourist may be like “OMG it’s Magnolia Cupcakes like on Sex and the City!” a city resident would be more like, “I just want to eat the damn cupcake because I’m craving something sweet.”

8. You still veg at home. While most city dwellers tend to take care of their appearance when they go out, they are still likely to wear sweats, order delivery and veg out in front of the TV at home on a weekend like in the ‘burbs when they don’t feel like going out.

9. School districts are important. If you have kids or are thinking of having kids, you’re most likely going to want to buy property where the best school districts are like in the ‘burbs and you’ll go out of your way to make that happen or pay a pretty penny for that privilege.

10. Even with your small space, you will still hoard like your suburban counterparts, except you will either rent a $150/month storage locker or leave a lot of things at mom and dad’s house back wherever and visit them if you need something.

While living in the city may seem like one big vortex, it can be broken down to sizable bites because the neighborhood or areas that you frequent will become more familiar. In some way it will start to feel like the suburbs which may be good or bad. It’s good in that you know where things are and have your routine down pat.

The thing is, you need these rituals of seeing the same things and the same people during certain times of the day.

In a place where chaos and constant change happen all the time, it’s the rituals that makes one feel more anchored and in control.

You can control your routine and choose what music you listen to when you walk to the subway or what kind of coffee to order on your way to work. You can’t control the impatient (albeit efficient) people, the furious pace, the craziness, the traffic or construction. But you can control your process and how you want to be present in your everyday life.

On the other hand you may be like, “Dude, I left the suburbs so I can HAVE the city experience.” But you know what? You kind of have to make the best of where you live no matter where you are in the world. If you want to expand your horizon you will need to get out of your comfort zone and check out other things. Start by looking, noticing, or leaving then coming back with a whole new perspective.

Or have visitors over so they can give you a new perspective and you can see your home from their point of view. Home is whatever you want it to be. You can be anchored with familiarity. Or you can honor your rhythms by getting to know the unfamiliar so you can learn something new and grow.